<aside> ☯️ “Bro, come over here, I gotta show you something.”
“Huh, what is it?” I walked over to my friend’s computer screen.
“Check this out, I pulled it off the dark web, it’s wild!” he pointed to the screen.
Against a pitch-black background was a logo, Death Metal Kyonshis. “What is this?” I asked.
“They’re a death metal band. Their theme is that they resurrected a top-notch singer from the past. Their singing and dancing are legendary, but it’s their intense performances that have grabbed the attention of the underground metal scene.”
“Their performances?”
“Yeah, check out this video! We don’t know exactly how they do it, but they have been known to fight with nail bats, slash each other with serious weapons, play jump rope with guts, and even use human heads during their sets! It looks so realistic!”
As I watched the pandemonium in the video, I couldn’t help but agree.
“Their dedication to the kyonshi theme has earned them a cult following.”
“Kyonshi? You mean the Asian zombie-vampires?”
“Yeah! I mean, check out this disclaimer – they’re really committed to the act!”
Under the “Performances” section, bold letters proclaimed, WE DON’T PERFORM IN HOT WEATHER.
My friend added, “Yeah…a lot of fans are sad that their live performances are only held in the northern hemisphere during the winter. But it totally fits their lore!”
I scrolled down the page to the Photos section. Suddenly, my heart skipped a beat as I saw her clearly for the first time. “W-wow, their make-up is great,” I noted, trying to play it cool.
“Yup! Look, that’s the lead singer of the group, Kyonsie-chan. She looks so cute, but her death voice is just as good as a man's. It's soul-destroying! She’s like the Goddess of Hell!
I was amazed that someone like her could exist…I had to watch her perform live! “Look,” I said, “it says their next performance is only an hour’s drive away! Finally, living in this frozen wasteland of ours has paid off!”
Under Payment Information, I noted the following statement: Since we don’t believe in the corporate banking system, please use cryptocurrency (BTC, ETH, DOGE) to pay for your ticket. Thank you!
My friend was in shock. “Bro, that’s so cheap now, they didn’t adjust prices for the bear market! Let’s go!”
It seemed like destiny. My first encounter with my MEGAMI was imminent.
</aside>